Behind Blue Eyes
by XKamori
Summary: Juunanagou desides to start his life anew now that he was wished back, but all these new human emotions are flooding in and he doesnt know how to deal with them.


Behind blue eyes Chapter 1: Loneliness  
  
_ No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be hated  
To be fated  
To telling only lies  
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do  
And I blame you  
  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through  
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
When my fist clenches, crack it open  
Before I use it and lose my cool  
When I smile, tell me some bad news  
Before I laugh and act like a fool  
  
If I swallow anything evil  
Put your finger down my throat  
If I shiver, please give me a blanket  
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
  
By: Limp Bizkit  
  
_ Helplessness, fear, the first time these feelings, these emotions had crossed his mind and now they corsed through his body like a pulsing ball of energy. He felt the instinct that every living beging had, the instinct and will to live. Was this it he never thought this would happen he was so certain he could not be beat. All the sudden in a matter of a few minutes everything he thought himself to be was belittled. Their was someone more powerful then him, and he was there main target.His time was up, the fun was over and it all happened to fast.  
  
Juunanagou sat up quickly in his bed, his breathing shakey and a scream escaped his throat. the day he was absorbed playing on repeat in his brain even in his dreams.  
When he was wished back to life like the others he took to solitude. For the time he understood and could relate to the fear, helplessness and will to live like other humans. Now the lust to destroy and kill did not run through him so. He wanted to live he understood fear now, and though he did not understand compassion yet, he could not bring himself to do the things he had done before.  
So what was left in his life now?  
He hadn't seen Juuhachigou since he came back, but he had heard rumors that she was a human now and had married krillin and they had a daughter. Things had changed so much, he missed her. And that was a new feeling also. She had been the only person that he had really known and cared about and she was always with him, but now that she was gone a feeling of emptiness washed over him like he had never known._ I guess its true, you dont know what you've got til its gone_, he thought mournfully. So was this to be his life now? was he going to waste away in this old cabin all of his life? He knew he could not just stay there forever, but what should he be doing with himself now? Did Juuhachigou even know he was alive?_ probably not_. He wondered if he should try to find her. "If this is going to be my life I should have just stayed inside Cell or in hfil!" Juunanagou screamed and slammed his fist into the wall beside the bed. All these new feelings were confusing him, he didn't have a clue what to do with them and they were all just rushing in and pushing themselves on him. He was human partially and feelings and emotions were something no human or living thing could get past.  
He swung his legs out of the bed, sleeping was pointless. He walked into the small living room, he shivered, was the cold he felt physcological or physical? he grabbed the shirt he had thrown off and tossed to a chair the other night and slipped it on hoping to get some comfort from the warmth. Finding a box of matchs on the harth he struck one quickly and flicked it onto the logs in the fireplace, with a tiny burst of energy from his hand the fire lit up and the room was flooded with a soft glow of red. He stood there staring into the flickering flames while his thoughts started organizing. _Alright. When daylight comes I'll go out and I'll see what kind of things this world has to offer, it may not be so bad, anythings better then reclusiveness, maybe I could find Juuhachigou while I'm at it_. He would try and start over, if the world aloud him too. 


End file.
